Alaskan Highway 2000
Cataract '93 - 65,000 cfs - Oh! My! Gosh!
High Uintas 1999 - Dead Horse Pass
Fiords Nat'l Park Alaska 2004
Colorado River thru the Grand Canyon 2005
I was terrified. My eyes hurt for weeks afterwards, because they were opened so wide most of the time. I was alone for 18-hours on a 90-mile, overnight passage across a body of water where I was pretty much out of sight of land for a good bit of the time. Water coming into the boat, wind knocking the boat over 40-degrees or more, looking up at big, nasty waves coming at me. It was fantastic!
The Old Man and the Seat - A thrilling epic story of adventure, excitement, outdoors and police brutality penned in a tequila-fueled fog by the man who lived it! Coming soon to a trash can near you!
Journal of a Bike trip from Hell pdf 7-pages 32k
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I was so terrified my back hurt for a day after this trip. Either it was my kidneys trying to process the adrenaline out of my system, or the adrenal glands themselves, from just sheer overwork. If you want to do the Primo Edge Run of Commercial Whitewater (in my opinion anyway) go do it. And if you end up dead don't blame me, I told you so. However, having said that, if I could survive it most anybody could. The guides were great and knew what they were doing. But still . . .
Fear and Loathing in the Low Sierras pdf 11-pages 38k
In 1984 business was good, my wife wanted to take a vacation with the family. She decided a trip down the Grand Canyon would be good. We spent the price of a small car to get the four of us on the trip and we had a great time. The guides on the trip said, "Come to Guide School in the spring and we'll let you row baggage down here." I bought into the idea and did Guide School. Then I got all excited and decided to get into whitewater boating. Anyway, we bought a boat, and our first family trip was a 1-boat down the Rogue River in Oregon. I had rowed baggage on the Rogue just a few weeks before we did it as a family. This piece is the letter I wrote to the guides on the commercial where I was the baggage boatman.
This is a little story of a boat trip through Cataract Canyon by 8-friends in 1995. One of the best trips I've been on. Here is what I wrote about it when I got back.
A totally wonderful trip down the Colorado River just south of the confluence with the Green, in 1991. Mayhem, Carnage, Totally Fantastic. So enjoy this triumph of self-absorbtion, this beacon of literary wannabe, this . . . this . . . account of the events that actually happened, that is its only redeeming feature.
Go buy a backpack, get yourself some boots and go have the most exciting, fantastic hike you can imagine! Try not to get killed doing it! Ha! It can't snow in August, even at 12,000 feet! Ha! Can it?
It's hard to explain some of these trips to folks who haven't done something close. These are some thoughts about LaDore Canyon on the Green River, just S. of the Wyoming border in Colorado. The old saying goes,
Ha! This is a "How To" for becoming Helicopter Bait - You Know! Seeing the Helicopters hovering over some place looking for the victums?! Ha! Follow these instructions and You Too can make the paper! Actually this is an overdramatized account of a very survivable hike, moderately easy actually. Being clueless makes it somewhat of an adventure, but even with what you learn from this silly piece you could do this safely no problem. Just start early and turn around at noon. That's all you really need to know on any summit attempt. Start early and turn around at noon.
Marsh Creek. The Confluence. Dagger Falls (I didn't run it!). Lost boats. People swimming under log jams. Almost EVERYBODY flipping! Cowards running from finishing the run (me, and some people I convinced to do the same). Ha! What an amazing trip! Middle Fork of the Salmon, water so high we had to go in at Marsh Creek. I'm SOOO glad I did it. Because now I don't ever have to do it again! Ha! I may not ever even write it up, but if I do I will call it,
"Discretion Is The Better Part of Valor"
Caution is preferable to rash bravery. Said by Falstaff in King Henry the Fourth, Part One, by William Shakespeare
I told you I was a 100% certified, bonified coward, no regrets.